A few days ago I posted about a recent friendship break up. I decided to end a toxic friendship, one in which I was always at the mercy of someone else’s needs and desires. Well, I tried to let it go peacefully and just die naturally but everything came to a head. And sometimes, it’s exactly this type of confrontation that simply serves to confirm your instincts and your desire to cut someone out.
Well, after effectively bailing on a trip, our gym routine, and Saturday night plans all in one week, my friend emailed me a couple of weeks later as though nothing happened. It was a ‘hey, haven’t talked to you in a while!’ that might as well have been a cold hard slap in the face. It was insulting to me that she thought she could just pick up where she left off as though nothing had happened. She was asking about a party I was planning and if it was still on. I responded to let her know she shouldn’t feel obligated to come, and that I couldn’t just pretend nothing happened between us.
Anyways, we had a couple of email back and forths and I decided to be completely honest with her. I told her how I felt–that she always put herself and her needs before me, and that I always had to bend over backwards to try to make her feel okay. I gave examples. And what did she do? Well, rather than acknowledge or address anything that I said, she simply stated: ‘no matter what I do or say you don’t trust this relationship. That’s your internal battle. I hope you find peace’. Something to that effect. Like a self-help guru asshole. It’s funny, when you get to know someone really well, you learn their insecurities and how to push their buttons. It was a low-blow. She tried to lay the blame on my insecurities, which have nothing to do with her or her behaviour. It was beyond infuriating.
To add insult to injury, she started an immature, passive aggressive Facebook campaign. Suddenly, all her posts were stupid sayings like ‘instead of giving someone a piece of your mind, give them a bit of your heart’. And ‘your perception of me, is a reflection of you; my response to you is an awareness of me’. That was the last straw. I unfriended her and haven’t looked back. I can’t stand this immature ridiculous attitude. I’m too old for this bs. To try to send me messages in such a pathetic and cowardly way is just too low for me.
It’s never easy cutting someone out. It’s not fun and it sucks. The funny thing with her is, I don’t feel like I miss her at all. If anything, I feel relieved. Relieved that I no longer have to bow down to her every whim, or struggle to set boundaries and have my own needs met. I just want some time to pass for this fresh wound to heal though. We have a lot of people in common so I just need the dust to settle on the situation.
But I’m ready to move on.