Source: scottthornbury.wordpress.com
I have recently discovered something that threatens my happiness. Something that seems to stop me in my tracks, to chastise me, to discourage me, to keep me down and out and weakened. This threat is that of Sameness: of feeling and believing that everything is the same, has been the same, and worst of all, will continue to be the same. If you have no purpose or no hope for a better future it’s difficult to find the motivation to go on.
Case in point: dating. If you’re in your thirties, forties, fifties and have yet to find ‘the one’ (presuming you believe in and desire a monogamous relationship) then perhaps you will start to lose faith. You will feel like your relationships always end the same way–with a break-up–and this will be demotivating. Worse, it can be a negative, self-fulfilling prophecy.
When you fail to see the diversity of experiences you’ve had, people you’ve met, and in this case, reasons for your relationships not working out, you paint a very dreary picture for yourself. I think this has been a problem of mine for some time.
I tend to group experiences, people and situations together and feel as though my life has been one giant broken record–the same scenario on repeat time after time. I’m learning though that not only is this inaccurate, it’s really detrimental. It makes it difficult to pursue potential avenues of happiness if you see the same depressing end to them all.
I have felt lonely for some time. I have experienced a number of losses in my life. I have felt that I would like to be in a serious, committed, loving relationship for some time. But that doesn’t mean my life has been the same, for this entire period of time. I’ve grown, matured, changed, and experienced things that have humbled, awed and inspired me.
So today I’m going to remind myself, and anyone else who needs to hear it, that things have not always been the same. I have loved very different men for different reasons and these relationships have ended for different reasons. As long as I continue to embrace new experiences and to be open to growth and potential heartache, I’ll be okay. One day I will find what I’m looking for, and I know, until that day things will not stay the same.
I grow and learn and mature each and every day, and that’s something worth cherishing and not discounting.
Unlearning the Fear 