Relationship Impasse

Source: thereddotman.com

 

I seem to be at an impasse. A relationship impasse. As much as I think communication is key in relationships, sometimes it does nothing for you. Sometimes you have an issue and you talk about it, discuss it, express your feelings, and still, you get nowhere. You reach an impasse. You can see your partner’s point of view, but it doesn’t change anything. Well, here I am dating someone who is very busy with work. For this reason I was hesitant to date him. We met online and after a few dates I knew I liked him but his work schedule was a deal breaker. I broke it off but we kept in touch and everyone kept telling me I should give him a chance if I liked him that much.

 

Well I do, but nothing has changed. He owns a company with a couple of other partners, business is taking off and it’s draining and time consuming. He’s also an artist, and it’s important to him to devote time to his art. I respect him a great deal for his drive, his motivation, and his creativity. At the same time, I resent him for the time he spends focused on his projects, of which he has many. I feel very alone in this relationship. I know we care about each other but I’m very unhappy. I’m just wondering what the solution is. And this is where talking doesn’t seem to help one bit. So I’m giving writing a try.

 

What are my options? Try not to let his busy-ness bother me, until things calm down, as he keeps telling me they will (some time around January)? Do I walk away and give up on a great connection, someone I love and care about? What’s the alternative? Compromise doesn’t seem to help. We watch movies together while he works on his laptop. He makes ‘efforts’ to see me once during the week. Why am I an effort? Why does it take effort? This is my fundamental problem: it feels like I want to see him and I care about him more than he does me.

Now, of course he denies this and part of me has come to understand this is true. He’s very busy but that doesn’t mean he cares about me any less. Still though I can’t help but feel dissatisfied, pushed aside, ignored. He knows I walked away from a five-year relationship for this very reason–to put an end to a workaholic taking over my life.

But his business is taking off now so of course he’s going to be busy……some questions just don’t have answers. Sometimes only time will reveal the path you should take. Until then I will try not to feel alone, or panicked. Relationship grey zones are the worst.